Drowning in Suburbia

That which keeps me busy

Ok so starting off with a simple "I'm going to blog more!" and then... well... not really writing was a pretty lame cop-out from me, now wasn't it?

Also the fact I hadn't blogged for nearly a year was shocking in its own right since a damn lot has happened in my life. Though, I guess I do have one thing in particular I can blame.

One... simple little thing.

You see, back in March of '11 I went to a large pet adoption event and walked home with something amazing.

Words really can't describe how much joy it is that little Gozer had brought into my life... but maybe this mass of photos can do a better job

They grow so fast, don't they?

I suppose this will be the first of many "photo dump" posts from me. I find they often sum up a year in a far more entertaining way than I can with just words.

Well now...

Shame on me. Honestly, I set up a blog and then just drop off the face of the internet. How rude, how... very like me.

Now I realize I blog mostly for my own entertainment rather than that of others, but dammit... 2012 shall become "The Year of the Blog".

Hopefully.

 

Maybe.

 

We'll see.

 

Wish me luck!

Taking the edge off

Because nothing quite takes the edge off of ComicCon ticket purchasing quite like a little picot edging.

You know... except that was a giant pain in the ass too.

Achievement Unlocked

I'm feeling fairly accomplished. Fairly being the key word...

First knitting project of 2011 is officially finished.

Yep. More socks.

I'd feel better about them except for the fact that I started these back in late October of last year. I worked on them during my trip to Nevada, then really slacked off on them in general until I finished the first sock. Second one came faster, which was nice... but still these took way too long. But then again, there was a lot going on during the time knitting these. I was vacationing, new jobbing, attempting to figure out my life a bit better... and the fact that second sock took so much less time makes me think I'll be okay.

These socks went trough a magic hour time travel (aka - Daylight savings), journied across state lines, saw the year pass into new, saw friends and family alike... and now they are finished.

The fact that they have some serious differences to them as well amuses me. Some of the differences are intentional - right vs left sock... and some... well... I have no idea what caused the yarn to not stripe on the first sock until the foot. None. And while some part of me is annoyed by that fact, another is completely okay with it and even loves it.

So yep, one project down.

I'm currently working on a pair of fingerless mittens for a friend... and have a scarf for another in the planning/attempted-it-twice-and-got-frustrated stage...

And then there's my sweater. Which as of this moment is officially a top with the sleeves started and separated.

Accomplished. Mostly. I'll take it.

How I spent my 2010

I figure the last day of the year is always a good day to really look back on it all, be amazed, confused, freaked out, nostalgic, and all that other stuff.

2010 was a year that was seriously crazy in my life and so many things happened that I honestly have trouble realizing that it only occured in one 364 day period.

So... without further ramblings (only to give way to it's own rambling): How I Spent My 2010

I was unemployed, employed sorta, and then unemployed and employed again

  This was probably the most trying this about this year. It made for a lot of uncertainty while everything else was moving around me. It's tough not knowing exactly what will be happening thanks to your financial situation and at times it was downright stressful.

    As of October I finally have a full time job again and so far I'm settling in nicely. I never expected to be doing the kind of work that I am, nor did I expect that having a friend of mine as a boss would work out. But I'm finding that it's a pretty friendly and casual atmosphere in my department... okay maybe not "I've puked in your bathroom" kind of friendly, but friendly enough so that I don't feel weird having someone I've known for the last 8ish years suddenly become my boss for 8 hours of the day. 

    It's not all doom and gloom either... I've already started doing some design work for the company. Helping to re do their web site is a huge thing and I'm honored to be allowed to do it... especially considering I haven't even passed my 90-day probationary period. It speaks really well for the company as a whole, I think. I was told that if you aren't "happy" in the department you get hired in that you can shuffle around a bit (within reason) until you find somewhere that suites you and I think I've pretty much hit the nail on the head. (Even if the IT department is trying to steal me away.)

    I feel comfortable and for me... that's huge. I like repetition, but I also like being able to break out of that repetition when I want to and so far I'm being allowed to do just that. It's pretty awesome.

I moved

    Yep. Huge. I've lived in the same house for all my life and moving in with my boyfriend and our two roommates has been perhaps the most trying thing. I still have days where I feel honestly out of place, like I'm just living in my roommates' house, like all I want to do is go home. But then there's days like... well... today. Where I manage to get the whole place to myself and actually have some alone time and I feel fine. I think that's perhaps the single most thing I honestly miss about living with my parents, the fact that frequently I could be the only person in the entire house. I like my moments of solitude and around here they are few and far between. But... they exist. Enough so that I haven't gone on a rampage and attempted to murder everyone.


I was terrified, nervous, and forced to be patient

  I don't think I'll ever forget the last day of February of 2010. My father's accident where he dislocated his shoulder while my mother was out-of-state was perhaps one of those moments I will never truly forget. I cannot begin to be grateful for the fact that my boyfriend was there to basically hold me together through the calling of 911 to going to the ER to bringing my father back home. It was trying and honestly scary and probably one of the darkest and strangest times in my life. The fact it happened just before I was scheduled to move made it all the more difficult.

    My dad still hasn't returned to work (I think he's scheduled to in January). But he is doing MUCH better... back to his old self. I'm thankful for that. Hell... he was pretty much his normal self (with a sling) about a week after it happened. He even managed to come over and help me paint the new bed room in the house I moved to. My dad: made of pure awesome.


I learned new crafts

    Yay for knitting for it keeps me occupied and feeling like I'm accomplishing something. It's a wonderfully simple thing that results in wonderfully extraordinary things. I think the blanket I made my mother for Christmas is really a great example of that. It also showed me that I'm willing to stick to one rather large project for quite some time. Goal for 2011: Sweaters. Maybe just two. Hopefully more.

I stopped stressing about friends

    I'll be perfectly honest... I've stressed over the fact that I don't seem to have a lot of friends that I go and hang out with. Sure there's my boyfriend's sister and her boyfriend... who are fun as hell to hang out with... but honestly that's about it. I think moving in with my boyfriend's best friend and having the boy be away on weekends spending time with his gun buddies has only emphasized this little void to me. I don't think the strange feeling of isolation in my house really helped much either (yeah we live with the aforementioned friend of boyfriend and his fiance... but her and I aren't really the types to go and hang out together.)

    Well... that feeling pretty much got kicked in the ass this Halloween and the days that followed that I spent in Nevada. I realized that I have some honest awesome friends... they just don't live near me. And while that kinda is odd in some ways... like I said, it hit me like a brick and I basically felt foolish for ever feeling all bummed out here at home. Lamesauce of me, but we're good now.

I became okay with calling myself a "writer"

   I think the fact that I once again participated in NaNoWriMo and officially have another novel under my belt has solidified a fact I've pretty much known for a while now... I like to write. I write quite a lot. I am a writer. I don't have the courage to attempt to get anything published... it sounds like pure madness to me. I think I'm much too sensitive and protective of my writing to let others have at it like that... which is weird considering I went through several years of having my artwork torn apart in college. But I think this stuff is more personal. They're stories... but they're my stories, sprung from my mind. Maybe I can at least get up the courage to let the boyfriend read them one day.

And that's it! Or at least... the major bits. There were other trials and good times and such throughout the year... but there always are. So good bye 2010, it's been real. And hello 2011... let's see what you have in store for me

Here we go again...

There's just too much to go over. Way too much. Way. Too. Much.
New job, Burning Nerd, "Everything else".
So... quick recaps!

New job: Meh. But it pays. Pays as much as my last job when it was actually full time and THIS one actually gives me benefits and such. I'll take it. Only downside is it has me staring at a computer screen for 8 hours doing pretty much mind-numbing work so when I finally get home the last thing I want to actually do is look at my computer. And the reason THAT is bad is...

Burning Nerd!
The first week of November was amazing. Good food, good drink, good friends, good scenery. There was nothing more I could have asked for. I took tons of photos and even ended up pretty much actually using the facebook profile I made for myself just to keep track of all the other photos and such we had. While this year's "group" photo isn't quite as deviant as last year's...


We still had a total blast. Thanks to my fellow Burning Nerds/Order of the Scorpion. You guys ROCK!

The only bad reason for not wanting to stare at my screen is...

*drum roll*

Yup. It's that time of year again and while last year I had a solid plan, a solid world, solid characters and such that had been roaming about in my head for the better part of 7 or so years, this year I'm totally winging it. That combined with well... only getting 1000 words done in that first week thanks to Burning Nerd 2010... it's well... challenging. But I like challenges, dammit! I've set a goal of 13,000 words for myself for the weekend (Fri, Sat, and Sun). As of this moment I have 10,357 more words to go. I think I can make it...
I hope I can make it...
I should probably start writing THAT instead of THIS.

Away to WriMoLand! *dash!*

A Season of Changes

Change seems to be a bit of a theme of my blog lately (well, that and yarn) but again I find it being an important factor in my life so here we go...

October is FINALLY here, along with autumn (even if it doesn't feel like it yet)! True it's mostly due to my obsessive lust over Halloween and all that goes with it (pumpkins!!!!) but there's a lot more to it this year that I think is making it all a bit extra special...

But there will be changes. I don't particularly like change. I don't like throwing a wrench in my plans. I don't like shifting gears. And I really, really don't like having to undo something to redo it again.


That last bit is freshest in my mind right now so I'll start there. It's...yep, you guessed it, knitting related.

I can't quite think of anything more demoralizing than pulling back and undoing about a week's worth of knitting because the entire time you were in denial about it being "too small" and even last night debated over and over on the fact that: They'll fit! Honest they will. Yeah, they'll be snug... but they'll fit! Meanwhile in the back of your head you know that despite the fact it'll actually go on your foot and be snug around the calf... the texture on those socks will be so damn stretched out it will look like crap.

So these: (Yeah yeah, I know...too much effort on a picture of an unfinished project. I don't care, it was for my Ravelry page.) Were unceremoniously undone today.

What you see there is about one and a half repeats of the leg pattern. Last night I finished doing the 9th row out of 14 on my 4th repeat. Yep... I was fighting with the delusion last night even AS I knit them. It was only after I tried them on for about the 5th time (having moved them to longer needles as I actually BROKE one of my shorter, more expensive and nice, needles while trying to get them back off my foot at one point - you THINK they were too tight? ha ha.) that I finally realized it just wasn't going to look good. I like my zombie yarn far too much to have allowed it to be turned into a fancy pair of socks that were really more fugly than fancy when worn.

So yep... a week's worth of knitting gone. I know that in the end the changes I will make to them to make them fit better mean they will look better and I'll end up with a finished project that I will be MUCH MORE HAPPY WITH... right now I'm staring at all the yarn that had been knitting up and is currently wound onto a cardboard tube and I'm just not feeling so optimistic about it.

...I was just doing a gauge swatch, not actually knitting the socks... yeah, that's it.


Ok... enough about knitting...

Other things going on... well, mainly... I have a job! Not exactly in the field I want it to be in, nor does it have anything to do with what I went to school for... but it's a job and it will pay bills. Since that's my primary concern right now, I'll take it! I'm still doing freelance work on the side but with how slow that has been there was just no way it was going to fully support me.

I'm nervous and kinda excited and really just curious as to how I'll adapt to the new job. I go for training for two weeks and THEN I start at the actual location so that'll be kinda odd as well.

Oddness only compounded by Burning Nerd being the week after that to finish off October. I can't begin to express my joy at being able to hang out with my nerd-family again this year and the fact I'll be with them for Halloween makes me giddy like no body's business.

Hockey is happening too (no season tickets for me this year... which means I didn't attend any pre-season games) with the first home game occurring on the 13th. Again - more giddy than you can realize. My team's changed a lot since last season...some of my favorite players either got traded or retired so that'll be interesting to see how that's different.


Overall... well, I'm looking forward to this next month and all the madness it will bring me. I'm sure I'll stress out on something at one point or another but that's nothing new. For today, however... I undid a knitting project, went and got my nails painted, bought myself my first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season, and soon... ZZ Top and Tom Petty at the Hollywood Bowl.


Bring it on, October... Bring it on.

Dear Spiders...

Dear Spiders,

It would be greatly appreciated if you would keep your 8-legged creepy-as-fuck selves away from my desk, my laptop, my knitting, and my general person. Consider yourself banned from these places.

Please feel free to be anywhere else you like.

Note that "anywhere else" does not include the following: My bedroom in its entirety and all its contents, my couch, any number of the insides of shoes or purses that I own, my kitchen, my shower/bathtub (or any other part of the bathroom for that matter), any assortment of packed boxes containing my belongings, my car (exterior as well as interior, thank you very much), or any other place I generally keep my possessions or enjoy being.

The outdoors however, even though I do venture there from time to time, is understandably your domain and I will respect the fact that you live there and I do not and so my proximity to you in that environment is of my own doing.

However, your rights to the outdoors can and will be violated any time you chose to invade any of the above mentioned locations from which you are banned. I have bug spray and I know how to use it.

If you feel like being a bastard ninja and creep into/around those locations anyway, I will allow this on the condition that I do not see or HEAR you.

Kindest regards,

Sarah

 

PS: The fact you were on the wall, fell back in behind my desk, and I can now hear you moving about thanks to some papers is in direct contention with this statement. Cease and desist immediately or I will consider this a declaration of war upon your entire kind. Again, I have bug spray. I will use it without mercy. This is your only warning.

Holy crap...it's WHAT month?

I had a realization tonight.

It's September.

That's the 9th month.

That means there's only 4 more months to go and then 2010 is DONE.

It also means that it's almost November.

Which means I've been out of a full-time-job for almost a year now.



Fuck.



Okay, enough of that... back to having my mind reel at the fact this year is almost over, again. And that about a year ago I was meeting up with some awesome friends. An event that really doesn't seem like it was THAT long ago. I bought my plane tickets for this year's get together and so far it's a go. Only thing that can stand in my way now is if I get a new job and they really have an issue with me already having a week planned. (Yeah, I don't see much hope for this one either, but I'm going to remain blissfully ignorant-optimistic)

But seriously... where the HELL did this year go? And where the hell did the Summer go? (Despite another heat wave hitting us this week, I swear this is only the second hot week we've had this year. I mean, for Frak's sake! It dipped down into the 70s last weekend!)

I'm trying to not dwell on the fact that I haven't really accomplished much except for losing my job within the last year.

Ok that's a lie... I relearned how to crochet and how to knit which has been a total blast.

But really, it's mind blowing to me just how fast time can go some times. August is GONE and here it is September already and I'm just having one of those serious "wow" moments.

I've been busy revamping my resume, and planning on revamping my portfolio site (oh god I hate websites. I hate them. HATE THEM.) Hopefully the change I'm planning on making to the site will make it so that it's easier to update. And hey... I'm ditching the Flash in favor of just a nice simple (stop laughing) Lightbox javascript setup for the galleries. This can't end well.

I am still working freelance. In fact, this weekend I'll probably be doing quite a bit, which is nice as it will help pay for the trip I previously mentioned.

So what else have I been doing?

Knitting.

A lot.

Of Socks.

Socks finished since I last posted:

and
Cable Rib Socks from This Book and Pomatomus from This Website respectively.

And new socks started:



New socks are part of a new disease: The Sock Knitters Anonymous "Sockdown" over at Ravelry. Which really is an excuse to knit along with a bunch of other people who understand the joy of hand-knit socks and making them...oh, and attempting to actually make a dent in the yarn stash but that's a fleeting objective as it still is multiplying faster than I can knit. (Don't look at me like that! The new yarn was actually won in a contest and the other skein I got for free recently when I purchased the yarn for some Christmas knitting. Yes you read that right, CHRISTMAS knitting. I am on top of my shit, dammit! I have to feel accomplished SOMEHOW and this is what's gonna happen!)

Aside from knitting I actually started crocheting the scorpions I planned to make for friends attending the trip (ok so the plan was to make them for everyone who was part of the Order of the Scorpions from last year but I'm going with the more reasonable thing of "those who will be there this year" and then I'll finish and mail off the others at another time. Yep. Totally gonna happen.... I already told you to stop laughing)

In my non-crafty adventures I've started watching old episodes of Doctor Who since I fell in love with the new series. Haven't gotten to Tennant's Who just yet...but Eccelston is a god in my book for now. Yes I'm late on the bandwagon. No I don't care.

I've also been writing with the group-of-friends (who seriously are not imaginary...shut up.) and prepping myself for this year's NaNoWriMo. I'm so ready (...you can't read if you are laughing! HA!)

Now if you'll excuse me I need to get back to not going to sleep until 2:30 in the morning and then wondering how the hell it is that I've become slightly nocturnal again when I wake up just before noon.

This Roller Coaster Isn't So Fun Anymore

You know that feeling you get when you've gone on that roller coaster you think you love about 4 times in a row? The one with all the twists and loops and spins and quick changes in the track that are fun as hell the first time around but that round 4 leaves you kinda queasy and wanting to stop...and then your psychotic friend drags you back on for a 5th time and you just KNOW you're gonna hurl but you can't say no because all sense has left you?

... yeah, I haven't done that either. What a shitty metaphor I was trying to set up there.

Anyway... yeah, my life has felt like a roller coaster ride that isn't that fun but I can't get off for some reason. The last week has just been ...well, insane.

The state of my "work area"/desk/me place almost perfectly fits the overly disheveled feeling I think is just all over right now.

So... fuck the roller coaster, we're going with the desk!

Yes... behold the desk. And it's really a pretty accurate vision of my life, almost. Complete with the grainy blurriness provided by my cell phone.

So let's see what all is there...

Let's go from left to right, shall we?

First up (aside from the random stuff I'll just skip over) is a box of tissues. While not sick sick, my sinuses are still playing tag with seasonal allergies. I feel like hell most days. On top of that box is the newest pair of fingerless mittens that I made, still waiting to be blocked. I'm so proud of these that they need their own glamor shot:

Oh hell yes. I have no idea why I went with pink.
But they are fucking beautiful and I can't wait until it's actually cold enough I can wear them.

MOVING ON...

There's a vase of dead roses. Yep, same roses from the last blog entry where I posted about that sock. These are such an awesome representation of all the shit I need to just hurry up and do already. Them... needing to be thrown away and the vase cleaned out... but I also have a house that needs to be cleaned and dishes that need to be washed. Whee.

It makes perfect sense that right in front of that is my cup of coffee...that is going cold. This is #2 for the day... I shall finish it even if it makes me feel slightly jittery.

Next up is the laptop, the eternal source of putting shit off. I blame the forums...

Below that you can see a glimpse of the horror that is the "shit on the shelf beneath my desk" The topmost being a heating pad. Ha...that will be my best friend in a few days, I can assure you.

Next is my current knitting project. (Cable Rib Socks from THIS BOOK)  For those familiar with Noro yarn... you are already noticing and laughing your ass off at my misfortune. There was a knot...and the color changed...and instead of digging through my ball looking for where I could seamlessly pick up the color and continue with the fabulous soft color shifts of Noro I simply said "fuck it" and went with the blue it gave me. ...This will make the second sock a bitch and a half if I attempt to make them match, I'm sure. But I'm a glutton for punishment.

What you don't see in that photo is my bag containing my second laptop that is at my feet... this laptop is in charge of all my freelance work... and more importantly at the moment: my resume.

BUT we'll get to that.

So with the glimpse of my life done and over with... ON to the rest! (and you thought this was going to be a short simple blog entry. HA. I have a week's worth of shit to make up for here!)

...SO... I guess I'll start now with "a week ago." Actually, a week and a day ago. Which puts me in the full glory that is... San Diego Comic Con 2010.

I have photos.

Not a lot of photos since I'm one of those people who have been to Comic Con for 8 years now and don't really get all giddy about the floor anymore. Forgive how many are SW-themed. I love me some Star Wars.

 
 
Yes...that's me and the Chief. My single "random celebrity" sighting.
He was awesome, I was sober and coherent. I can't really ask for a better moment there...
You know... except if the boyfriend could have actually put us in the center of the photo.

    

I have no idea what's going on with the language in that one photo. they did stuff to the train station in front of the Con. It amused me. The Green Hornet car was awesomely fancy, sitting in full glory outside the convention center in front of a huge screen that played the trailer for the movie.

And that was...pretty much it. I was only there for a day, after all. Give me a break.

So... Friday, Saturday and Sunday were spent at home for the most part. (Ok...so Friday we drove home and the boy took me to this adorable little yarn shop called the Needlecraft Cottage that was by the beach and it was a HOUSE full of KNITTING STUFF. I only bought enough yarn for two socks. But it was awesome.)

Enter... Monday.

Monday I get to work, expecting to pick up a few pieces from morons who didn't realize I was gone for Thurs and Friday and I get to hear that...well...

The company kinda doesn't exist anymore.

I don't need to get into specifics on my blog aside from the fact it meant that... well... I didn't have a job anymore.

... Back from a vacation where I bought tons of graphic novels and booze, spending money that I didn't really have to spend but figured it'd be ok depending on how I handled my next pay check only to realize I won't have a next paycheck.

Awesome.

Ohwait no.

Though I DID get the new couch on Monday. It is awesome... even if I have no way to pay for it at the moment. *cough*

So this week has basically been attempting to adapt to that. I re-upped my unemployment stuff (already got my form to fill out...huzzah.) and I've even applied to two jobs already (in a Collections Agency... not graphic design. Ew.)

But... I can say I've been productive. I finished THESE:

Which I love. And attempted to wear to go see a movie on Wednesday.

I say attempted since when we got to the theater and I was full on excited to see the childish madness that is Despicable Me... we were told that showing only had sold 6 tickets to they sold out the theater that evening to a private screening and I didn't get to see my movie. I was compensated with vouchers for a movie to use whenever I wanted, a full refund, and the (unused, sadly) ability to go to any other movie that was playing that night (...the only thing that started at the same time was Twilight...I said I'd go as long as I got to punch every last person sitting in the theater in the face, that didn't go over so well.) and since it was a Wednesday night and the boy had work the next day, we couldn't exactly sit around and wait for a later showing of anything else. Bummer.

The boy's been having a hellishly shitty week too. At this point I kinda wish the universe would stop seeking balance for the fun I had last Thursday/Friday. But we're a week into this mess now so I think we should be good.

Boyfriend is going away this weekend...leaving me at home. I plan to drink coffee, knit, and generally keep my head down until this all blows over.